


Yabba (remembered)

by stubman



Category: Show By Rock!! - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Humor, Multi, happy birthday yaiba
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 12:09:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7801339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stubman/pseuds/stubman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>its yaibas birthday, you know what that means *sticks leg up*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yabba (remembered)

**Author's Note:**

> we're both so rusty @ writin crackfics omg..

Rom takes out the giant 10 gallon tub of lubricant he ordered off Amazon, slathering it all over his arms.

“Rom? What are you doing?” Crow asks from in front of him, they were all getting ready to practice. “You said we were saving that to fill the sleeping bags with. Y’know, to stimulate being back in the womb.”

Yaiba shivers at the thought.

“It helps me play.” Rom replies, smashing that motherfucking drumset.

“Hey..” Aion brings his hand up to his face in its usual position, “Where’s Yaiba?”

“I haven’t seen him all day.” Yaiba replies.

“He’s probably off eating ass again, the filthy slut. Smh…” Rom smh’s before reaching into the lube tub and hurling a fistful at Aions face.

“But guys! It’s Yabba (forgotten)'s birthday!!!!!” Crow screams at the top of his lungs.

Rom sits up immediately and rips off his shirt, “We have to find him and celebrate!”

“With my legendary Ryukendenkendenkenden, we’ll find Yaiba in no time, hence-”

“Quiet Yaiba we have no time for this! Yaiba’s missing!” Crow runs out the door.

They all take to the streets, only searching in dark alleyways since they know Yaiba likes to stand in them posing to look cool. Actually, the only one of them that doesn’t do that is Rom. Not since _the encounter_.

Crow pulls open a dumpster and peers in, inhaling deeply before closing it and shaking his head.

“Nope, not here.”

Rom tch’s, punching the wall angrily, “The sjws.” He laments, closing his eyes. “We didn’t even get to take him to the spa with all those hot chicks…”

Crow, Aion, and Yaiba turn to him at once, eyebrows raised.

“Uh, Rom, you do remember we’re all dating right?” Crow asks. He hopes old age wasn’t already starting to get to Rom and his memories...

Rom appears to freeze, the small alien controlling his brain panicking, “Ahaha, of course! I knew that! Love you guys!” Rom flexes quickly, lubed muscles glistening, to assert that it is actually him. “Would a straight person do this?” He laughs, loudly like that dad at a barbeque who slaps your back too hard. He punches the wall once again. “Don’t fuck with me.”

Yaiba aimlessly pulls his pants down a little lower, “This is hopeless, at this rate Yaiba’s birthday will have ended and we still-”

Aion kicks a trash can lid full speed and it hits Yaiba right in the face. He falls to the ground unconscious.

“AION WHAT THE FUCK?!” Crow yells, jumping on Aion’s back and beginning to eat his hair.

“Wait guys, I think I found Yaiba.” Rom points to the unconscious man on the ground.

Crow stretches his arm all the way from his spot on Aions shoulders to smack Rom on the bicep, “Way to go! I knew we’d find him in a place like this. Now we just have to drag him back home so we can celebrate his birth.”

Crow slides down Aion like a stripper pole and leans over to pick Yaiba up. As he does this 50 condoms fall out of his pocket. “Aaahhh my condoms! There’s condoms everywhere!” *bends over seductively to pick up a condom* *bends over seductively to pick up a condom* *bends over seductively to pick up a condom* *bends over seductively to pick up a condom*

“Rodent, why do you need so many of them?” Aion asks although he probably doesn’t want to know.  
  
Rom winks in response, pulsating slightly.

“UauAGHhhguHW” Aion makes that choking sound like he did in their latest interview.

“Oh no.. he’s going into heat again.” Crow notes sadly.

Rom hurls Yaibas body over his shoulder, and they all run home like that one spiderman gif.

~

It’s been an hour since The Boyz left the alley, but Shuzo doesn’t know that. He leans against the wall, taping his foot idly.

“He’s not coming.” He sighs sadly.

Cyan, who’s walking by cause she loves to explore dark alleys now or some shit pauses and turns to him, looking concerned.

“What’s wrong?”

“He’s not coming.” Shuzo huffs, “He never comes.”

Cyan nods, despite not understanding at all what he’s talking about before gasping loudly.

“I’ve got just the thing to cheer you up!” Cyan winks, her entire body lighting up like she was made of lightbulbs. Shuzo flinches and covers his eyes, she’s glowing too brightly to look directly at, even for him.

“K-Kitten!?”

“Its Hikari now.” She proceeds to walk on down the alley, the glowing eventually going far away enough that he could finally see again.

“Okay well, anyways.” He backflips back home taking back roads to his backyard.

Turtle BIG

~

The gang arrives back at the man cave, Yaiba sporting a bloody gash on his head since they all decided to toss him around like a ragdoll back and forth. He was dropped multiple times and probably has a concussion, so they threw him onto the couch until he wakes up, left in a position that had his ass in the air. It fitted him. Aion put a party hat on it.

“AAAALRIGHT!! We’re gonna make Yaiba the best cake he’s ever had!” Crow begins headbanging furiously, resulting in him smacking his forehead on the kitchen counter and falling to the ground.

Aion picks up some eggs, dabbing.

Crow takes the whip, kicking his leg up high and suspending it in the air.

Rom holds the bowl tightly, squattin low.

They stand there posing for a few moments, the sudden realization that none of them know how to bake a cake donning on them.

Retoree opens the door to the kitchen and pauses, “Uh, why do you have a whip?”

“You know, to mix the ingredients.” Crow stares at the object in his hand.

“Isn't that a whisk?” Retoree pushes up her glasses.

“Is that not what this is?”

“That’s some sort of BDSM toy.”

Crow uses it to make the Johnny Test whip crack noise. “Oho, I like the sound of that, lets add that noise to our next song!”

Retoree takes the apple she came in there for and slowly sinks away.

“Let’s GO!” Rom smashes the bowl over his own head, glass shattering everywhere, he picks up the pieces and throws them in a different bowl.

Crow dumps an entire gallon of milk in, it overflows and spills all over the counter. “You know guys, none of us knows how to make this thing but I think it’ll be a good bonding experience for us all.”

“The Dark Sun God agrees with the shrimp, for once.” Aion gently places exactly seventeen uncracked eggs into the bowl.

Crow ignores him in favor of slamming open a cabinet and digging out the flour. The sack slowly topples onto the counter and he peeks inside.

"This is sand."

"What."

"It's sand in here, not flour. Why do we keep sand in the kitchen cabinet?"

Aion shrugs, it's best to not question these kinds of things.

Crow opts to pour the entire bag of sand into his mouth, aim completely off.

Rom tears off his shirt. “ORE WA ROMU!” He punched the contents of the bowl as hard as he can, the sound of eggs smashing and glass crunching reverberating throughout the room.  
  
Crow whips Rom, “YEEAAAAHHHH!!!!!!”

Aion pulls out a pan and slaps it onto the stove top, cranking up the heat as high as possible, Crow moshes over and pours the _substance_  they created in.

Rom squints. “I’m pretty sure you don’t use a stove top for cake.”

“Fuck you, you bambino motherfucker.” Crow hisses, gently placing a condom on top for good measure. It’s even flavored, it’ll go well with the cake. Aion nods in agreement with the choice of chocolate flavor.

It begins boiling wildly, Aion sticks a very long, longer than average, finger inside and mixes it slowly.

“Isn’t that hot?” Crow begins, only to be silenced by Rom raising his finger to his lips, signaling the small black and red haired male to be quiet. Crow nodded, peeking in on Aion's progress. He, like Rom, watched in silence as Aion moved with practiced precision.

"He makes it look so easy," Crow whispered in awe. "I tried to make cake like that the other day and burned my hand twice. It's harder than it looks."

"I've no doubt," Rom replied in a low voice.

"It's such an elegant process though," Crow said wistfully. "Like a dance, but only with your hands."

"Indeed."

Rom didn't say aloud what he was really thinking. He didn't want to allude to the fact that his dick was currently at full attention.

Crow glances over, sees Rom rock solid, barbs and all, and decides to ignore it.

Aion takes his fingers out of the cake and places them over his face, he no longer has a hand, just very long fingers extending from his wrist.

“It’s done.” He whispers, and Crow cheers loudly and dumps the cake, still liquidy yet burnt on the bottom, onto a plate.

“Oh man, Yaiba’s gonna LOVE this.”  
  
Rom takes out a small tube and unscrews the cap.

“Alright Rom! You got frosting, way to be prepared!” Crow nibbles on his ear affectionately.

“Oh no, clearly you don’t know Yaiba well enough to think he’d be satisfied with just plain old frosting.” Rom slowly oozes the substance onto the cake, “It’s some of the 10 gallon lubricant I ordered off Amazon, mixed with my piss for a nice yellow color, which is his favorite.”

"The piss or the color yellow?"

Rom winks.

“ _Ooooooohhhhhh._ ” Aion and Crow moan simultaneously, they are in awe and reminded once again why Rom's their leader.

Rom begins writing in big letters, “Y A B”

“Why are you spelling his name?” Aion inquires.

“It’s his birthday.”

“Yeah, usually you’d put a ‘Happy Birthday’ before it.”

Rom pauses, “Too late now.” And continues writing on the cake.

Aion squints, “You wrote it too large, only Y A B B can fit.”

“Just write the last A on top of it.” Crow suggests.

“In what way is that a good idea, you won’t even be able to read it.”

“I’ll show you!” Crow grabs the frosting and scribbles a giant A on top. It looks terrible.

“We made something beautiful today.” Rom wipes a precum looking tear.

They all march out to the couch, the cake seeping off the plate as they walk. Aion slaps Yaiba’s ass awake.

“Y-Yueni!” The bassist rises with a start. The first thing he sees is Rom’s boner, still painfully obvious and practically staring into his soul, and decides to ignore it like the others.

“Yaiba!! Happy birthday!!!!” Crow im running out of ways to loudly and excitedly say things and wiggles the plate, causing more of it to slip off and stain the carpet a nice nut color.

Yaiba smiles, “You guys…”

“I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to us.” Crow beams warmly, pulling them all in a group hug.

“Who’s the one massaging my knee?” Aion questions.

“Sorry.” Rom zips his pants back up, barbed erection returning to its home.

Crow realizes too late that he would end up dropping the cake if he uses his arms to hug the others, it splatters to the ground and the plate shatters.

"Geeches at it again!" Crow raises his arms angrily, "Every fucking time!"

They all sing happy birthday (heavy metal edition) to Yabba and lick the remains of the cake off the floor. It made them feel dirty.

~

Shuzo finally arrives back at the penthouse.

“Shuzo-kun!” Kai and Riku say in unison, “Where did you go so late at night?” The younger twin adds.

“Ah, I sensed Rom in an alleyway so I decided to go and give him some flashbacks :3,” Shuzo flashes a peace sign sadly, “But he never came.”

“That bastard!” Kai slams a fist on the table, “Those damn IFW’s”

“IFW’S?” Riku questions.

“The invisible fucking wolves, Riku, they’ve been appearing a lot more recently…” Shuzo picks up Rikus arm and holds it out, “Watch this.”

Immediately an unseen force sinks its teeth into Rikus arm, violently dragging him off to who knows where, invisible barking and howling can be heard around them.

“Okay have fun! We have practice tomorrow though so be back before then!” Kai calls out, waving him off.

Shuzo wraps his arms around Kai’s middle, “Oho, now we have the place to ourselves~” He kisses his cheek, “Set up the tarp.”

Kai smirks and tugs at his boyfriends underwear. The boxer briefs were made in Italy. Kai could tell because they had a name on them in Italian.

He finally slid them down, revealing Shuzo’s naked manity, and just then every speaker in the house started playing the entirety of ‘Insight’ by yours truly.

“Shhhh,” he said, putting his fingers to his lips. He did _not_ let Kai touch him or make eye contact until the song was over.

Shuzo put his thumb in Kai’s mouth. And then the other one. And then two more. "Wider,“ he said as he put in one more. "I bet you’ve never had this many thumbs in your mouth.” Kai hadn’t.

Shuzo moves them to the kitchen, everything's sexier there. The kitchen was the size of a helicopter. The kind of helicopter that they had done buttstuff in. Also it was made of gold. Kai grabs a bedazzled cookbook off the counter and flips it open.. The cookbook was full of strange recipes:

“One egg, a blindfold, two whips."

Kai spun around as Shuzo used his fingers to surprise his shoulders.

"I see you found my cooking books,” he said observantly.

Kai nervously asked him, “What kind of a recipe is this?"

Shuzo laughed a sexy laugh that a handsome seal would make in some sort of sex zoo. "That’s a book on how to make sex breakfasts, and I’m going to make one for you.”

They settle on english muffins.

~

Yayba ended up inhaling the condom Crow baked into the hell cake and had to be rushed to the ER. After Maple picks them all up in the officially licensed Banded Rocking Records van, they decide to stop at Mcdonalds.

“Um, hey!” Crow hops over the counter, shoving the cashier out of the way, “It’s my buddy Yaibas birthday today so…” He pushes past all the protesting employees and stuffs all the Happy Meal® toys down his shirt.

“Aion! Come help me put these in your shirt.” Crow turns, only to remember Aion doesn’t wear shirts. None of the others wear shirts.

“You’ve all let me down.” He sighs, instead putting the toys inside his mouth and stuffing his cheeks like a chipmunk before hibernation, waddling back to the front and aggressively pointing towards the exit and making vague choking noises.

As they all crawl back to the van, Aion pulls a french fry out of his hair, “These are for you, Yabba.” He whips his head around, hair swinging every which way as hundreds of french fries pour out onto the pavement. “Happy,” The lion brings a head to his face and looks away, suddenly shy, “Birthday.”

“Yo Aion, who’s head is that?” Crow asks, spitting out the happy meal toys into the trunk.

“I’m... not sure.” Aion chucks the decapitated myumon head out the window.

“Drive.” Rom orders and Maple slams his foot on the gas.

~

Shuzo stood on top of the end of the bed, shirtless, hands on his hips, wearing really good pants that he got at the millionaire pants store.

“Dong,” he said. “Dong. Dong. Dong. Dong. Dong. Dong.”

“What’s that?” said Kai, aware in some myumon way that he was about to sex more than he ever had before.

“Open up,” he said, unzipping. “That’s the fuck doorbell.”

~

“This has been one hell of a day.” Rom sighs, slumping back into the chair of the noodle place downstairs does it have a name i dont remember.

Crow flips on the T.V., Trichronika’s popsicle commercial begins blasting through the place.

  
~

“Retoree! There you are. Did you get the apples?”

“I got one and I ate it.” Retoree admits, plopping down on the curb next to Cyan who smiles at the dog myumon before taking her hand. Haha gay.

Chuchu groans, leaning against the wall. “Now what are we supposed to throw at Shuzo’s limo?”

“We could throw a bunch of rocks.” Moa offers, hands already full of the possible ammunition she had picked up along the way just in case.

Chuchu hums thoughtfully before shaking her head..

“No. Too basic.”

“Uhm, why are we doing this again?” Cyan pipes up, nervously touching the hem of her skirt. She wasn’t cut out for a life of crime.

Chuchu ignores her and rips a branch off of a nearby tree. “This will work if we add the rocks, I suppose...” She mutters, posing like she was going to throw it like a javelin. “Here they come.” She nods towards the long infamous limo.

The girls all throw their mixture of rock and stick at the vehicle, why you may ask? They like the thrill.

But they don’t reach. Some imperceptible beings shielding Trichronika from the blow. Riku rides atop what appears to be nothing.

“Good boy.” He pats the invisible fucking wolf lovingly, who have now become bodyguards.

Chuchu angrily snaps the branch over her knee. “The IFW’s!”

“At least we didn’t waste money on apples?” Moa says, giving her support by patting her shoulder.

“We’ll have to pay for the trees we tore apart soon if we don’t leave quickly.” Retoree comments, looking at the mess around them. They forgot that technically this was someone's property.

They run. Retoree slips into the darkness by changing her form to Kurai form, like Cyan with her Hikari, only dark.

~

Aion felt like they still hadn’t done enough for Yaibas birthday. He gets an idea and heads to the kitchen.

“Hey guys I’m making french toast sticks in the oven. I’m gonna take a quick nap wake me up in 5 minutes so I can flip them over.”

He slams them in and immediately passes out.

**“Aion its been five minutes flip your sticks.”**

“Snnnnzzzzz”

The entire building burnt down. Happy birthday Yaiba.

**Author's Note:**

> dont forget to comment like and subscribe https://twitter.com/shuzofucker69 & https://twitter.com/takuwumi


End file.
